Who are you and what do you want?
I've had a new deep realisation this past few days guys. You know the kind that blows you away in a sort of plume of warm puffy air. Like a surprise party that you had an inkling of but kind of didn't really know about! I'll get to HOW it came about in a second or two. First of all I want to talk about and describe the A-Ha to you.
First to create a clear picture if you're only just coming accross my work and journey. In short, last year after many years of perpetual growth (both personal and spiritual), re-balancing and re-building after much destruction and loss it was time to take the next biggest leap from the known to the unknown! So the kids and I (Keith would stay and coninue to feed the people of the West Midlands & Warwickshire his delicious gourmet grub!) after settling our affairs for the winter set off for India. Fulfilling the next part of our soul journey which was to become untethered from the life we were living and physical confines of it. India called and we rose to attention showing up ready for our spiritual assignments, whatever they may be!
Fast forward to spring this year, after a month back in the UK, again taking care of affairs and taking stock of life! Our next spiritual assignment is to keep the momentum going! 'Keep moving forward Maria' I would hear at all times of the day, especially during my meditations. So that's what we did! Next stop Spain. Classed as our 3rd home for many years through my brothers relocation here and marriage to my beautiful inside and out Spanish sister in law, UK (place of birth) being our first, Cyprus (place of origin) our second. Of course we now have a fourth, India as our next for See- able winters will be spent there.
So after a large portion of a month spent snuggling my 2 year old nephew, enjoying the warmth of the Catalonian people and some who I'm lucky enough to call my Spanish family made up of in laws, Aussie bro in law of my sis in law plus friends. Not to mention the helado, beaches, tapas & paella and the occasional immersion into the touristic hussle and bustle of The main Barcelona hangout for foreign visitors 'Ramblas' and a bonus few day long surprise Visit from Keith, we jump on a short flight and head south!
For me Malaga was synonymous with the two week package holiday tourist destination to flop out, recoup and enjoy possibly the one holiday of the year. I kept hearing though, from my Spanish family, Sothern Spain is the REAL Spain! So, back to the big A-Ha! Our first few days here were spent in a 5 star resort.... Equipped with tennis courts, 2 huge pools, in house restaurants, table tennis, pool bars, a full timetable of organised animation and entertainment activities. Set in the most beautiful of man made settings, stunning perfectly preened gardens, overly polite reception staff with a list of exceptionally penned and memorised welcomed greetings in English making you feel as though you just arrived in paradise! And indeed, for the first while this is how I felt! Like I'd hit the jack pot in finding this little piece of heaven on earth! And indeed, we lapped up the facilities like a bee drinking up nectar. Swimming, tennis, delicious meals, luxury, table tennis, joyful family fun! Yet it didn't take long for the A-Ha to kick in! Although great for a pit stop, this is NOT what you want Maria. This is not who you are anymore Maria. Who you are is a person who NEEDS to connect with others on a soul level, who you are is a person who wants to experience REAL LIFE, in its raw natural state, without the cushioning and blanketing environment that SOME 5 star resorts offer. Now that you are no longer exhaustedly scrambling towards your once per year, 2 week holiday where you MAY just muster up the energy to take a single day trip to experience authentic local life and maybe a meal in a traditional restaurant outside of the hotel a la carte or buffet restaurant.
As I said at the beginning of this blog post, I knew this in a round about way, I knew that certain situations just don't inspire me or fulfill me anymore, yet there was still a part of me that needed proof, that needed to be immersed into it one more time, and that needed to come in the form of a first hand experience. No biggie, no drama, just the kids and I living it up in a 5 star resort for a few days! So out of all of this, my offering to you is if you don't know who you are or what you want, please do go out and have as many varied experiences as you can. It generally does, as you travel from experience to experience, bring enough clarity to get you to where you need to be in the next chapter and the next and the next. I write this from the sun terrace of a unique property owned by Fran, a young Andalusian ex computer programmer who followed his dream of becoming a self taught, self governed carpenter living far away from the chaos of city life and the stress of a corporate career. We are renting the cute purpose built annex on his intimate eco property which comprises of wooden buildings, solar energy, outdoor kitchen including gas BBQ (my son Nik, is in Heaven!) all built with his very own hands! And..... The bonus points....his dog Rayon is the epitome of playful and cute, we have a stunning sea view and Fran has TIME and head space to share deep and meaningful conversations over coffee and meals, as we each practice one anothers language!
This evening we have been invited to join him, his friends and family for a Saturday night dinner and no doubt I will meet some more real people, eating real food and having true, from the heart conversations! This, my dear ones is who I am and what I want! And even though it's what I had already created in India but it's as though I had a concussion to the fact that real people also live in other parts of the world and that actually, wherever I travel, this is who I am and what I want too! So, I encourage you to go and explore who YOU are and what you want immediately, and along the way have as many fulfilling experiences as you can. I promise you, your life will never be the same again once you start to know who you are and what you want.