Getting What You Want: How to UpGrade Your Manifesting Skills


I love playing little games with the universe, it is such a light and easy way to let loose, and also to continue to strengthen my relationship with my co-creative partner!

I am sharing this with you today as I have received a lot of questions and requests for more information from our online UpGrade community members after posting about my latest manifesting shenanigans on social media.

Play and have fun 

The night before a recent trip to receive an award at the Houses of Parliament in London, UK for ‘Most Inspiring Personality’ – I decided it would be super cool to manifest some free ‘stuff’!

I didn’t necessarily need anything, all expenses, travel, and accommodations were organized and paid for – but I seized the opportunity for a chance to play with the universe - I get great satisfaction in testing, challenging and practicing these principles just for the fun of it. And so, the night before the trip, I glanced up to ‘the universe’ and said “ok, let’s play! Let’s co-create as many fun freebies as we can in the next two days”. 

Broaden the brief

The ‘conversation’ is based on the premise that firstly, none of what we do, create or achieve is done by us alone, and secondly for the equation to work, we must be willing to be guidable – present to and connected to the urges, signs and messages of guidance being given to us every moment.

For example, which direction to walk in, which coffee shop to stop at or who to greet and when – it is all in the mix. Notice I didn’t state specifics or any details of what I wanted other than ‘free stuff’, and while there is nothing wrong with details, we can often shoot ourselves in the foot before we even begin by being way too specific. This activity is much better and productive without the interference of the logic - it calls for more gut feeling, intuition, and inner guidance

Feeling good

The mind loves the detail and it also loves to chatter away negatively to us when things are not going as hoped, pulling us out of our happy place very quickly! The overarching factor to manifesting smoothly is our mood, state of mind and level of energetic vibration.

Our thoughts, feelings, expectations, and perceptions all contribute to our frequency. Low vibrational, dense emotions and moods lead to us feeling not so good, thus slowing down of the process.

Fun, cool stuff or anything that is aligned with a future or UpGraded version of ourselves can only come to us if we are a vibrational match to it. Pay close attention to how you are feeling all of the time, and if you are seeing a delay in results, it helps to relax and do something totally unrelated for a while – a shift in focus equals a shift in energy - leading to a more conducive manifesting state. 

Keep it simple 

The first thing I manifested during the recent two-day game was a free coffee. No big deal, right? And by no means a life-changing manifestation, and yet it is the simple seemingly unimportant manifestations that help us to strengthen our belief in our manifesting abilities and communication with the universe.

I didn’t ask for it or expect it, I wasn’t thinking about it at the time either – but it was given to me because I was open to receiving it. I had followed the urge to walk into that particular coffee shop, at that particular time, and interface with that particular barista who in that very moment responded to my energy (state of being) which then prompted her to follow her own inner urge and to then say the words ‘the coffee is on the house’ accompanied by a ginormous sparkly smile.

It was an easy, effortless and great example of how manifesting can go when everything is in alignment, and most importantly when we are in alignment.

Drop the control

Quite often, especially if we have been practicing for a while, we get caught up in the minute details of what we desire to manifest such as specific features, timing, and quantity, and this slows the process down. Micromanaging causes heaviness, pressure, and blocks, yet when we broaden the brief, we open the space up, nice and wide for things to occur and appear in ways that our mind could never fathom prior to that moment.

If you have been having trouble with the law of attraction (manifesting or bringing into fruition something by the power of intention and attention) check in with your level of obsession and ask yourself ‘how could I loosen the reigns a little, and hand over some of the jurisdiction back to my partner, the universe?” Taking a step back from anything gives it space and time to breath, and we all know that life itself relies upon a flow of clean, fresh breath. 

When I am working with anyone in a professional partnership, I love to give a short overview of what I would like, my idea or vision, and then hand it over to them – and allow for their own creative process to unfold. I love to let go of the details and be surprised and delighted by the possibilities, solutions, or their higher ideas that I have not seen yet. This is exactly how to approach UpGrading our manifesting skills too.

We are indeed in a co-creative partnership with the universe and like anyone we may know or work with, it does not respond well to micromanagement! It requires a large degree of trust on our part, which I know is not always easy to employ, and it can be tempting to keep hovering over and repeating the details, but I want you to think of how happy and alive a child is when allowed to play without restriction or how joyful and free a puppy is when let off of the leash – the zest, possibilities, and potential for better, increase beyond imagination.

Reduce the necessity 

When we have a great need for what we are asking for, we instantly add fear, anxiety and lack into the mix – all of which are inconducive emotional states for expansion, growth and manifesting. If you are in deep need of a new job or another particular outcome, for example, it is loaded with conditions and expectations – there’s a lot riding on it, which can create a bind. ‘Give me this or else’. ‘Without that, I am in trouble’.

If we can train ourselves to expand our awareness and generally expect great outcomes that are always in our favor, regardless if they fit the brief or not, it loosens the bind and creates space for results that are much better to drop in. I am not saying to never use this tool to create more of the pivotal things that you want in life and business, far from it. By familiarizing yourself with the pitfalls of overlooking this potential glitch though, and being open to being flexible with how your goals, desires, and needs are met - it will bring you back into your power as co-creator, working with rather than against the universe. 

If you find yourself disconnected from your alchemistic side perhaps due to overworking the LAO (Law of Attraction), growing weary of it, or misusing it, it is a good time to pause the serious and intense approach and pick up the playful one for a while.

Remind yourself of your ability to generate what you want by focusing on things that don’t matter so much like free coffees and parking spaces and by doing so, you’ll also be fine-tuning your abilities to manifest anything, even the seemingly big stuff! 

It’s ok to want what you want, but why do you want it?

I’m going to touch briefly here on an integral component of this topic – desires. Our desires are a preview for what it possible, and in my experience, they can act as a road map for life - yet if the desire is not coming from a pure place, it will cause us struggle and suffering.

If for example, your desire is to manifest something to either prove someone wrong, to seek revenge or to appease your fears then you are starting on the journey on the wrong foot. I go into great depth in my book ‘I Am UpGrading’, about the nature, quality, and value of our desires and how integral they are within the manifesting process so please do seek that out if you want to know more.

For now, though, I invite you to consider your relationship to what you desire and why you desire it. This is generally for the ‘bigger’, ‘more important’ items, changes and situations and would not really apply to the fun and playful things like free coffee – but self-awareness and honesty is key here so go there, as often as you can – with courage and conviction – and commit to peeking or better still diving beneath the surface.

In any and all elements of your UpGrade journey, awareness is key and even more so when manifesting what you want.  

Manifest by default

We are always manifesting and drawing to us things and situations. Whether they are ones that we like or not, is a different story! Once we tune our frequency to what we have asked for, we will start to see more of what we want. Over the two days of my recent manifesting game, as well as the free coffee, I called to me a free visit to the bathroom, (strange one I know!)

I didn’t have the correct coin for the railway station bathroom and so the attendant waved me through free of charge. I also was given a free VIP UpGrade, a free ride to my hotel amongst others. I have to admit, most of these were subtle, easy to miss gifts, and it took me a minute or two to realize what was happening and connect it to the little chat I’d had with the universe.

It is not uncommon that we all are so busy being busy that we do not always notice when the universe is waving the goodies in front of us and that we are indeed getting what we wanted or asked for – yet because it may come in a different form or package to the one we expected, we dismiss it or send it back! My frequency was tuned to ‘free stuff’ and so the universe kept on putting me in the perfect intersections to be in a position to receive exactly that! 

Stay awake 

It is likely that you are already really good at manifesting. But like any element of your UpGrade journey, what needs to change and improve is your ability to notice and be aware of what is happening and why, and what your role is in the situations, outcomes, and circumstances you are experiencing.

Staying privy to your own state of being, your thoughts, feelings, and words, and ensuring that they are in alignment with what you want is foundational. Being clear and precise with your requests and learning to fine-tune them based on the feedback you receive from life itself, for example not getting what you desire, provides grounds for practicing your course-correcting skills.

When you can reroute your flow of focus and recalibrate your energy accordingly, it will keep you on the manifesting straight and narrow. 

Your natural state of being is one of a powerful creator – remind yourself of this daily and if you find yourself off-kilter do not worry, simply go back to basics, decide to get playful and go have fun with your most trusted playmate - the universe!

Comment below and let us know what fun and playful manifestation you would like this week?


Maria K.